To My Daughter,
March 18th 2011
Someday you will realize that our caring about informing you of possible things to come is NOT about rejecting you as a person. When you have been a parent longer (when your own children are grown and make choices for themselves apart from yours) you will begin to understand our motives.
Would parents try to warn a child who is about to step off a cliff or would they just hold each other and and shake their heads and say, “Well, I hope she survives the fall.”
We have obviously lived longer, experienced more and clearly read and studied MANY sources to form our opinions. To withhold information from those we love dearly would be irresponsible of us.
We DO NOT reject YOU, our first born child whom we love dearly, just because you do not chose to learn from us. When you allow yourself to believe otherwise, you shut yourself off from the very information that could make a difference in your life.
This saddens us a great deal for several reasons. For the one we love to reject, out of hand, anything we offer counter to your beliefs could, if we approached it the way you do, make us feel rejected and unloved by you. Also, your refusal to learn from us could put us in a situation to end up having to help you, thereby compromising our ability to take care of ourselves – What if you lose your job? What if you have to sell your house…at a loss…and downsize? Where would you go? What would you do? Have you even prepared for the worst case? Have you set aside savings for emergencies? Have you even prepared for something as obvious as an earthquake? There are a lot of ‘what ifs’ that, just because you two are only in your 40’s does not mean you are immune. (Remember, Astre was only 59) We would ALWAYS step up to help you in any way we could!
I am really sorry you have chosen to take our counsel, advice, information-sharing as a personal affront to your beliefs. I have always thought of you as highly educated, able to ask questions and research, and draw conclusions. I guess I was wrong…
You have hamstrung us in our relationship – especially your father – by asking us to be less than who we are; to measure everything we say or write so as not to offend. Things I receive from friends that I do not like or do not believe, I just hit the ‘delete’ button. I do not reject them as friends!!
At this point in your parenting, you believe that you have total influence on what your children believe, trust, know and practice. The time will come – in the not to distant future – when they will start to form their own beliefs…apart from yours, maybe…Will you feel that they are rejecting you personally when they try to influence you to their way of thinking?
By your personalizing (in the negative) our attempts to inform, warn and protect you, you are cheating yourself of the very best we have to offer at this point in our ‘parenting.’
My prayer is that you wll start to educate yourself as to what is happening around you. Your father is smart enough to question all sources of information and seek out opposing points of view and check for himself before he reaches conclusions. If you are unwilling to benefit from this, at least do what he does. Educate yourself. Read and listen to many points of view. Everything we hear and read from such sources as Glenn Beck, can be verified, independently. We do not just let ourselves be ‘spoon fed.’ We love you. Don’t EVER forget that. LOVE, MOM