Ann's Blog

My daughter recently had to make the always difficult decision to have her 19 year old Burmese cat put to sleep. He had been in failing health for some time but was not suffering and managed to eat and find his way around in spite of his loss of sight.

However, the day came when he was clearly near the end of his long life. Preparations were made with our young grandchildren, who had been made aware of his impending demise for some time, and they were included in the procedure at the vets.

Whenever we have to make these kinds of decisions, I always remember what my mother taught me. She said, “It is our responsibility to make decisions in the best interest of our pets as a condition of our having them in our lives.” I have always honored that wisdom in my own life with pets but, it is always a hard choice.

The first time I really faced this terrible loss was when I was away at nursing school in Salt Lake City. I received a letter from home informing me that my beloved pet cat of ten years had died. I was devastated and could hardly make it through my shift at the hospital. This was the first time I had personally felt the pain of loss. I still had both my grandparents, who i was very close to, and my parents. I had never experienced personal loss until my cat died.

We had other pets through the years but they were always closer to my brothers or were the ‘family pet.’ This cat, Willy, was a cat I found when I was in 4th grade. One day, while walking home from school, I spotted a litter of cats under the front porch of a house. I saw this particular cat – a black and white with markings that made it look like he was wearing a baseball cap backwards (fashionable before his time)

I dashed home and asked my mother if I could have that cat. She told me to ask the people in the house so, the next day after school, I timidly walked up to the door, rang the bell and bravely asked the lady if she would let me have one of the kittens under her porch. She was very friendly and asked if I had permission from my parents. I assured her that I did so she said, “Pick out the one you want.” I, of course, had already made that decision so it was a matter of crawling under the porch and grabbing my pet-to-be.

I was thrilled to have my very own pet. He was a sweet cat and we loved each other very much. He was my companion, confidant, sleep buddy. I guess I believed He would always be there for me so that is why it was such a shock to read in the letter that he had died.

Another piece of wisdom my mother taught me was, “Always love your pets, take care of them, make the right choices for them and when they die, grieve their loss and then find another pet to love.” She was right about that and I have lost a few pets along the way.

Given the longevity of Burmese Cats, my current pet, Zachi – a beautiful Blue Burmese male – could quite possibly outlive me! Wow! wouldn’t that be something. (Maybe I should adjust my will?)

Pets do enrich our lives and whether we are cat lovers or dog lovers it matters not. Having them in our lives enriches our existence immeasurably.

When I was a kid, we visited our grandparents maybe once a year but the visits always seemed to end in shouting matches between my father and his mother. You see, my dad was a ‘union man’ and therefore, a staunch Democrat whereas my grandparents were staunch Republicans.

I had no awareness as a child of the political aspects of life, I just remember feeling very uncomfortable and baffled by all this shouting. Therefore, I never felt a closeness to my grandparents – and not just because of the long distance between our homes – but because there did not seem to be much love between them.

It was not until I grew up, had a child, and became a Republican that I began to understand my granmother. She visited my parents when my daughter was just a year old and I happened to be there as well. I had a lovely conversation with her and left feeling a warmth and love that was never there before. I treasure that visit because it was the only one we had before she died.

I now find myself in the very same situation with my own firstborn – being of different political persuations – but, unlike my grandmother and father, I choose NOT to have political discussions with her. In fact, I have to restrain my husband from making any ‘comments.’ I do not want to end up with no relationship with my grandchildren until they are grown women.

My grandmother had many other grandchildren – some who lived close – so I am sure it never occured to her to try to keep a relationship with my father to protect a relationship with her grandkids. In any case, I do not want my grandchildren to have ANY memories of a ‘heated discussion’ between their parents and their grandparents. Kids do not need that. They need nurture, support, unconditonal love and goodies…(I added this last part for me.)

Being a grandmother makes me miss my own mother and helps me understand her a little better as well. She and I never developed a ‘grown-up’ relationship, having lived apart all of my adult life, and then it was too late to develop one. She died much too young, by today’s standards – she was just 76. I am 66 and know that 76 is still very young.

I want so much to have a close relationship with my adult children but, somehow, it seems almost insurmountable at times. We do not seem to be a high priorty with them, which continues to baffle me since we are not near them very often – only in the spring and early fall. The rest of the time we travel. It puzzles me that they do not seem to want to make efforts to include us in their lives during the time we are near.

I reach back to my own relationship with my grandparents and realize that we did not live close and therefore there were not the opportunities to create a bond – more with my mother’s parents but still…not close.

This was the roll model I had. My own children did not live close to their grandparents so also did not form close bonds. I did not see this coming for me. My mother always said, “Your children learn from you.” I wish I had listened and tried harder to include grandparents in my children’s lives.

I am at a loss to know how to reverse this trend and make them understand that THEIR children will learn from THEM as well.

I am becoming more and more concerned about the character of this radical, liberal person known as Obama.  I cannot for the life of me understand why people are not questioning his associations and their influence on his belief system. He seems bent on confusing people and side-stepping every time he is called on it.

Further, he scares me with his desire to ‘re-distribute’ the wealth and ‘take from the rich, and give to the poor.’ Why should I do things to better myself and increase my status in life if, under his administration, he is going to take it and give it to the lazy, worthless, do-nothings in this country.

Why cannot people see that his “give a tax break to 95% of Americans” actually includes about 40% of people who DO NOT EVEN PAY ANY TAXES. This whole thing is just UNBELIEVABLE!!

As I sit here less than a month away from the election, I fear for the future of our great nation. Sadly, the people of this country will get the president they deserve. Buyer beware!! No one knows diddly about that guy, Obama, yet they are willing to bet their futures on him. I have faith in the ultimate greatness of our nation so the four years he has to royally screw things up can be undone – eventually. In the meantime, he can do irrepreable harm in terms of our national security. Sitting down with ‘nutcases’ and asking, “Please don’t hurt us. Please be our friends” is just insanity!!

Say what you will about Bush, but he has kept our nation safe from ANY terrorist attack for over seven years!! I do not have faith that Obama Hussein will do the same for us. Watch your backs, people…

As we prepare to go to our house in Mexico for the winter, I wonder how things will evolve over the next few months. It sure makes me want to find ways to hide my assets before Obama takes them. (Why does no one challenge him when he says he will ‘cut taxes for 95% of Americans’ A high percentage of those DO NOT PAY TAXES and therefore will receive a gift of MY MONEY that we worked hard for to enjoy our retirement years.

It’s a good thing we told our kids there will be no inheritance. Little did we know when we said that it was not going to be us spending it for our joy and care but, instead the gov. TAKING IT, as Biden says. Can you imagine? When did this country become one of voluntary compliance with taxes and one of the gov. TAKING it?